My dear friends across spheres of
LIFE,
After a lot of thought I FELT the necessity to key-stroke the
phenomenon of boy-girl OR man-woman LOVE. In fact, I suspect if we confuse this
love with UNIVERSAL LOVE, that which is unconditional AND undiluted LOVE - To
all co-beings - to mankind or Animal
Kingdom.
The unfortunate suicides committed by a couple of Chennai based students,
two budding Engineers because of so-called “LOVE failure”(Sic) provoked me to understand this phenomenon – I for one could
not digest taking one’s life for any reason whatsoever. Being born as a human itself
is a GIFT, isn’t it? Also we find that
the entertainment industry invent many an ‘acute’ and ‘obtuse’ angles and ‘sub-plots’
on boy-girl AND man-woman relationship which indeed spoils ‘innocent’ brains.
Let’s NOW walk-the-talk with Shri. GRK and understand this ‘phenomenon’ that
happens between a boy-girl and a man-woman.
Well, the
response to our earlier blog
on Love
was indeed overwhelming. Now relax and enjoy the conversation on Ver 2 of the phenomenon called LOVE…
‘LOVE’
Confusion!
Ravi: Pleasant evening to
you, Shri.GRK. Could you make me understand this boy-girl love or
man-woman love, which we somehow find glorified in Cinema, India, in particular.
I suspect that a better term could be used as people (mis)use the term ‘Love’ here as well. So please solve this ‘Love’
confusion once-for-all for me.
GRK: Hey Ravi, English is
a poor man’s language though elegant and the easiest to communicate. One word
may mean many a meaning. Also English language is more suitable for science
rather than LIFE. No wonder there are only 26 letters in English. Sanskrit and Thamizh
are very rich and have meaningful words and clear rules and have lot to
convey for LIFE.
Well, what we
discussed earlier in Love-Ver 1 is Universal Love, which is the fulcrum of the existence of the universe.
Love thyself first!
Ravi: Is it NOT some kind
of Bio-Chemistry that happens between a man and a woman?
GRK:Hey, haven’t you
watched Discovery Channel series on ‘Anatomy of Sex’? We all now know that what
happens between a boy and a girl or a man and a woman is nothing but subtle
physiological changes with rapid hormonal secretion, namely Oxytocin. Even
in a relationship between a man and a woman or a boy and a girl , the bottom-line
should be ‘Unconditional Love’. However, they need to LOVE themselves first.
If they can’t, then I suspect they can’t love others unconditionally and accept
the person as they are. The conflict arises when one wants the other to be what
they want them to be. That is possessive
love which is poisonous!
LOVE and
DIVORCE
Ravi: Out of concern of
humanity, allow me to pose this question. “GRK
Ji, Is there a link between alarming
divorce rates today and Love(Or the lack of it)”?
GRK: Look, we are not able
to accept other person’s shortcomings and that’s the crux of the matter. So
where is ‘Love’ here? View absence
of unfettered, unconditional love with uncluttered brains, full of dogmas or
doctorates; their bio-chemistry also fails. So, both body and brain goes for a
toss. Divorce is just an event. Their
souls are divorced long back! Divorces
are happening in alarming proportions in India because either marriages are
forced and CONDITIONAL; AND also because some marriages are done in a ‘romantic’
mood.
Oxytocin-The
LOVE Hormone
Ravi: Ji, I love romance. Romancing gives positive energy, boosts secretion
of Oxytocin, the LOVE HORMONE. I believe that there is
no age-bar to being romantic or being in romance for continuous supply of Oxytocin.
Is there anything wrong with being romantic?
GRK: Nice to see you understand LOVE from ‘Physiological’ perspective.
Slowly your brain is getting evolved to understand LOVE from the soul’s
perspective.
Guard
against Romantic fools
Ravi, Romancing or
being romantic is NOT stupid. It may give energy. However, we should only guard against romantic fools- man or woman.
Ravi: Romantic fools??? Am I one?
GRK: I don’t know if you
are one. Your LIFE companion would be able to judge better. After all, she has
taken great pains to tolerate and live with you for so long!
Ravi kanna, a ‘romantic fool’ is one who is
always in a romantic mood, with his/her feet miles above/away from the ground
(Reality). He/She theorizes heavily and lives in a dreamland on his/her own –
He/She seldom understands practicality. You would find these attributes in some
poets; poets over the ages are almost always bachelors! They fool around but they never get ‘caught’ and hence their
romance remains alive! They go on
dishing beautiful and even soul-lifting poetry. One should NEVER get married to a woman or a man in a ‘poetic’ mood.
DO
Romance - ONLY if you like yourself
first
Ravi: These days I find
young school children, especially boys in India have a skewed opinion on LOVE,
thanks to the Telly. What are your ‘words
of wisdom’ to them?
GRK: Hey, you don’t bother
about them. The same thing your father must have said about you and his father
about him… This generation kids are awesome ONLY if their parents NEITHER over-indulge
NOR being un-mindful of them. I see some of them taking these extremes. Do we have to teach them on boy-girl love? I
FEEL we elders need to understand first before making OUR teenage friends to
understand. All I wish to say to them is DO
Romance - ONLY if you like yourself
first. However, the essence of romance is LOVE which MUST be unconditional,
without any ‘hidden agenda’ whatsoever.
Ravi, “Conditional Love is NOTHING but a transaction OR most times a stamp of authority
with the affected soul fuming inside”. Some people do prefer to live that
way. It’s their choice.
Ravi: Can I share a LIFE
‘juice’ to boys and men, girls and women what I inferred from a path-breaking
book Science of Soulmates by William Henderson on the ways and means
of finding your ‘soul mate?
“The main tool in finding your soul mate
is YOU. Your true self. Spend time to become your true self and this higher
most powerful being will find the way”.
GRK: Do one useful thing.
Write a review of that book and share the rest of the juice(s) with our
friends.
Ravi: Certainly. I only
read the chapter-wise review in the website. Will have to buy the full copy from Amazon.tic gool,
Thank you for
your time Shri. GRK. Am taking a 3
day break to Pondy, trying to be a responsible biological father to my
wonderful children, who apart from my LIFE partner have tolerated me so far!
Hoping of
finishing the rest of the ‘Hidden Treasure series’ THEN. See you soon!
Friends, let’s get ourselves trained to look for soul mates with romance
energizing OUR glorious ‘avatar’ as a human being. We all have one common goal
– To evolve as ‘Humane’ humankind, isn’t it?
Hope the book is useful to us
for better understanding as to HOW our brains work and HOW to SEEK for soul
mates rather than just LOVE-mates!!! Fascinating, indeed!
With Love to you
and your family,
G&W Ravi
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