I have been contemplating for long to write on this topic. What prompted me to write now is that on one hand the growing crimes against women and on the other do we not find Sexologists all over the place suddenly with serpentine queues witnessed in front of their clinics?
Going by recent history on crimes against both men and women, across the world, getting to hear live stories from sexologists and why even my astrologer friend Sridhar – I suspect, IF, the dreaded 3 letter word S E X has become a menace for mankind, some overdoing it, some wantonly starving, some avoiding, some blatantly misusing it. Shall we ‘walk the talk’ with our learned friend Shri. GRK and get to understand this topic, we seldom discuss? Shall we understand S E X from a 2-dimensional perspective - namely Science and Art, instead of being Uni-dimensional-i.e. a mere ‘tool’ used for ‘reproduction’?
Ravi: It’s been a long time since we met. Glad to meet you again. This time, for a topic that few speak openly in this part of the world i.e. S E X?
GRK: That fundamental mistake is born out of colonial ramifications in India and so-called religious zealots across religions over ages.
Why men are ‘over-sexified’ these days?
Ravi: Tell me straight, Why do you think SEX has become a problem ? Why adults/men are ‘over-sexified’ these days? Why are women perceived as objects of desire/release?
GRK: Look, earlier also man has misused/over-used SEX with his polygamist behavior! However, physiologically, according to a recent research by brain scientists, a man’s most dominant thought in a 24-hour time frame is a no brainer - It is “SEX”. Whereas, the women’s dominant thought isn’t sex. She is besotted by a host of other issues. We need to understand, think more deeply, without any theories - X or Y. We need to experience, observe, think, meditate to understand the TRUTH on WHAT IS WHAT and HOW is WHAT? Now, coming back to men, today, most are slaves-bound by authority with no intellectual freedom to do what they love to do, deprived of freedom-Outwardly, and most importantly, ‘inwardly’. Poor them. They are, if I may use your term ‘over-sexified’ because there is no ‘release’ for them elsewhere – creatively or intellectually or emotionally. The sexual ‘act’ is THE only release, which is uni-dimensional, isn’t it? That’s the fundamental issue with men, yesterday, today or tomorrow. Are you with me, Ravi?
Multi-dimensional ‘releases’ are required for both men and women
Ravi: Yes. Very much. So, do you recommend multi-dimensional ‘release’ for men and women for a healthier, joyful life?
GRK: Yes, for a healthier body, brain, mind and I say soul as well! A brisk walk, reading a book we like, playing with children, helping the elderly, watching the stars, watching the movement of flowers(Without cruelly plucking), listening to the wind, observing the so-called rich or poor are some ‘releases’.
GRK: Now, tell me Ravi, you watch cricket and notably the IPL with such dedication and so are millions of others. Do you get any ‘release’ there as you are all glued to the ‘idiot box’ watching cricket, doing nothing?
Ravi: As regards cricket, I always like to ‘hear’ cricket with watching. In the 70’s and 80’s myself and Dad used to wake up at 4.30 AM to listen to Radio Australia if there’s a match between India-Australia in the Kangaroo land! We used to ‘mime’ shots that got batsman out. Dad would have cherished watching ‘live’ cricket thanks to breathtaking technology these days! Miss him badly!
Of late, I tend to prefer Badminton to sex if I were to choose one. What a ‘release’? In fact, my day depends on how I play in the morning– not from winning or losing, but the ‘effort’ and ‘movement’! It’s like a ‘symphony’, more so if you play doubles! I have done this experiment observing my day over a decade and hence this submission. Waiting for a partner to play mixed doubles which would still be awesome! So, playing Badminton, watching and hearing cricket are indeed great ‘releases’ for me. In fact our numerous ‘live’ and even imaginative ‘walk-the-talk’ sessions are indeed great ‘releases’.
Is there a science behind SEX?
Ravi: You walk around 5-10 km every day amidst your loaded schedule. Isn’t it one of the greatest form of ‘releases’ with the hormones happily getting secreted, both adrenalin and serotonin? Or in other words, is there a science behind SEX?
GRK: You have already said it. For most, the very mention of the three letter S E X word pumps up Adrenalin, the ‘Energy hormone’, activates Oxytocin, the ‘Love hormone’ thereby oozing liberal amounts of Testosterone/Oestrogen, the ‘Sexual hormone’. However, we can’t SEE anyone of these, (but we can quantify in a lab). But sure, we can FEEL if we have them in us. Our friends would know if we are high/low/medium on adrenalin depending on our actions and our spouses could FEEL the level of Love/Sex hormones.
Software and SEX
Ravi: Now, in the lighter vein, do you know the similarity between Software and Sex?
GRK: No clue. Tell me. Let me learn from you folks.
Ravi: “Software is like Sex: It’s better when it’s free” says Linus Torvalds, the creator of Linux operating system and a champion of Free Software.
GRK: Hah Ha! Well said Linus and true to an extent from safety perspective. However, need not be so always, as SEX is NOT a one-sided activity. It takes two hands to clap, my boy!
Ravi: Is there anything like soul-soul sex?
Watching (y)our thoughts is the best way out
Ravi: What’s the way out? Can laws bring about change in mindset among mankind?
GRK: To an extent. The change or transformation has to be at the individual level. That is, understanding the ‘thought’ movement-in any pleasure seeking activity-be it sex or drugs or religion or music. It’s the ‘thought’ and the ‘images’ stored is reflected in our memory and thereby leading to ‘action’. So let’s, each one of us understand the movement of our thought(s). As regards SEX, as said earlier, since we don’t have real freedom because of our million years of conditioning, we are left with only one thing called SEX. for indulgence being the easiest thing! All others demand (y)our energy which can come when only when one attains real freedom.
And, when one’s indulgence in sex too much, which is only a part in the game called LIFE, gains tremendous importance, one is destroying oneself. Life is a WHOLE, not just a single time/act. Therefore if you give importance to the ‘whole’ of LIFE, then SEX does not overpower you.
Control works the opposite
Ravi: Hmmm. True. Have been observing about the movement of my thoughts towards SEX and still it’s still a Work In Progress! Tell me, whether ‘control’ is the best way like how monks or priests do?
GRK: Sorry, the monks and all those Swamiji’s who have denied sex, have turned their energy to God but the ‘thing’ is boiling inside; nature cannot be suppressed. So control isn’t the key. Observation of one’s thought, understanding SEX from a Science and Art perspective could possibly be a solution. (Especially for avoiding violent sex-like raping)
Ravi: Well, lot to take home from this session of ours.
Folks, hope you enjoyed reading these Walk-the-Talk sessions with Dr.GRK and ‘Yours Truly’. Now let me work on the XIX part series so far on ‘LIFE and its Explorations’. Hopefully, we should come out with an e-book shortly for the benefit of humanity.
I end with wishes to each one of you for a fabulous 2014!