When TV NEWS Turned Entertainment in India

Dear Folks,

Am in absolute happiness, key-stroking this blog piece, a lighter one amidst in the current ‘scam’ maze, in India, the 2G dubbed by the Media as the Mother of All Scams! Yesterday I was in absolute happiness, because, had the opportunity to meet in person Pujya Swami Dayananda Saraswathi and Guru Anna(Shri S.Gurumurthy, www. gurumurthy.net a humane scholar, a financial wizard wearing many hats, I have been wanting to meet for over a decade!)  I thank my would-be ‘Veda Guru’, Shri. Sarma Sastrigal for the opportunity. The occasion was the Book release Function – Sri Sarma Sastrigal’s book on ‘The Great  HINDU Tradition’. Click http://www.thehindu.com/arts/books/article902082.ece Will SHARE later in relevant blog(s).

Moving on, The Media, especially the English News channels need to be applauded for their ‘guts’. At the same time, wanted to share with all of you a humorous piece depicting the state of BREAKING NEWS culture , a new TV reporting culture that has emerged in India –

Where News has turned Entertainment, you WOULD agree! Here’s HOW THE Indian TV news channels would report the Jack-and-Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill) are fictitious.

PRASHANT - TV Anchor

We have important ‘Breaking News’ here. Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after.

Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story.

AMRITA SHAH Thank you Prashant. Well, as you said, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack’s fall was severe enough to break his crown, then the surface of the hill must have been slippery and therefore unstable. But I think we’re overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and – this is the key – Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.

PRASHANT

 Thank you, Amrita. What do we know about the hill?

AMRITA    

Not too much at the moment. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen:

“HILL BREAKS CROWN OF PAIL-BOY JACK”]

PRASHANT

Any news of Jack and Jill?

AMRITA Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was. But it  appears that Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the entire accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.

SHAHID TRIVEDI

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “BOY AND GIRL TUMBLE DOWN HILL.WATER SPILLED”]

AMRITA Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?

SHAHID TRIVEDI

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

AMRITA

And what happened next?

SHAHID TRIVEDI

Jack fell down and broke his crown.

AMRITA

Go on...

SHAHID TRIVEDI

And Jill came tumbling after.

AMRITA

Prashant, there you have it! Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio, Prashant.

[Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: “WATER ERRAND ENDS IN TRAGEDY”]

PRASHANT

I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekhar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor, A hill. Jack. Jill. A pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?

PROF BELAGARE

Well... that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far: Jack and Jill / Went up the hill / To fetch a pail of water. / Jack fell down / And broke his crown / And Jill came tumbling after. Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack’s fall was severe enough to break his crown, then the surface of the hill must have been slippery and therefore unstable. But I think we’re  looking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and – this is the key – Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.

PRASHANT

Professor, thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons – Jack and Jill – went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the program, some other news:

Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Obama promises free health-care for every American citizen, and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for an in-depth studio discussion about hills, boys and girls, and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised.

Don’t go away. We’ll be right back...

Source: Anonymous in The Internet. Would be happy to credit the creative person who penned this first!

Hope you enjoyed the satire!  Anyway, have almost stopped watching English news channels and another habit of mine-browsing newspaper early in the morning! They increase my blood pressure. Simple. Instead prefer to watch Discovery Channel OR Simply read. What I like.

I sign off gently reminding the folks who don’t have the habit of reading – To take it seriously. What to read? Have a WANT and WANDER. The ‘Conspiracy Theory of the Cosmos’ would take care of the rest – Like my WANT of learning Veda from a ‘pure’ source or meeting Pujya Swamiji or Guru Anna!

Tashvidanya…

Anbudan

Ravichander Venkatraman