An Interview with GOD-Part II

My dear friends,

Hope YOU and your folks enjoyed the Juices laced with humour in the 5^th May blog ‘Interview with God’-Part I. GOD, being the Giver, Operator and Destroyer. It had to rush for a closed door meeting with Jesus and Mohammed, leaving the last posed Question unanswered.

Ravi: Love you God darling, how are you? What happened in the closed door meeting?

GOD: De Ravi, thanks for your unconditional love. Well, it was a useless meeting with Jesus and Mohammed groups for the umpteenth time. I’m calling upon Krish(na) to resolve this issue. I have lost my patience. Krishna, you know, is deadly. Jesus and Mohammed are immortals. They have already merged with the cosmic ocean. They have become abundant sources of energy.

Ravi: Oh yes, we know. Some people, especially Indian woman simply adore Krishna. God, many people here in India think and propagate that everything in their lives happens according to your whims and fancy and that they don’t have any control over the happenings in their life. If it’s true, then are you NOT a PERMENANT match-fixer, a BRUTAL manipulator of the highest order?

Is GOD REALLY a BRUTAL manipulator and a PERMENANT match-fixer?

GOD: Well, well, Ravi – That’s indeed a ‘bouncer’ to me and without ducking it, I shall try to hook it for a ‘DLF Maximum’. Ravi Kanna, the answer is Yes and NO. Understand this deeply first. Think.

It’s YES for people who have studied only mythology and are highly spiritual and NO for NON-believers and for the majorly scientific brain. Rarely do they meet. That’s THE situation. BUT, I said YES and NO to you as I am aware you are both a believer and a non-believer, the third category for whom science meets sex and spirituality. Iconoclastic sages have this understanding of me, i.e. GOD.

Ravi: Awesome. Thank you so much for this understanding. For some people in either category, “It’s my way, or the highway”. I wish they see the link between Science, Sex and Spirituality for sheer wisdom.

God’s poser to Ravi

God: Can I ask you a Question? I wonder WHY you don’t ask ME anything? I chanced through the ‘Favours asked’ database and found that you have asked for only 1 favour – That of having 2 girl children. Nothing else you have asked me, EVEN in precarious situations! Why son?

Ravi: Well, God, you only told me that my soul was in a doggie’s body last birth. So, I thank you everyday for being born as a human(e) being, Nothing more. Nothing less. Yes, I yearned for sisters at childhood. I was not fortunate. Thank you. NOW, I have 2 for company in the form of biological girl children... What more can I ask?

Why it’s awesome to have more girl children NOW than EVER before?

God: But girls means more expenditure, right, in your society?

Ravi: I understood that It’s “LAW of Economics”, God. Today, in India, women, are in short supply AND are more empowered as well. Women are SEEN everywhere – from IIT’s & IIM’s from Panchayat to parliament, from Entertainment to Environment, in IT or Beauty, from BPO’s to boardrooms. Gone are the days where the domain of the typical Indian woman was in kitchen and bedroom! I suspect, tomorrow, in India, men would have to pay dowry in-order to marry a woman! Already, it’s happening in Haryana where the women-starved men (because of female infanticide) are paying dowries to marry women from Kerala. So, it’s simple Smithsonian economics of demand and supply that rules the roost.

God, I’m worried about lovely American people. Please do something.

Ravi: God, I’m worried about lovely American people. Mindlessly, their rulers have misused / misusing their position, time and again. I could not digest both the Iraq/Afghan wars, sitting in Chennai, watching gory scenes on the Telly.  How you intend to bring sense to America that “Might is NOT RIGHT”?. They bribed Obama with the Nobel Prize for Peace when he MERELY announced the closure of Guatamono bay. They are NOW fiddling needlessly with Iran. Iran is unlike Iraq. They are more intelligent and deadly. Like Israel, they have lots of scientific brains who can even destroy humanity if pushed needlessly like America does, if their backs scratched by America time and again. Not Americans. Americans, by nature are peace-loving and very friendly, we all know. Hence, my concern.

GOD: That’s a tall order, Ravi. I doubt if they would learn. However, it shall be taken care, Ravi. You please don’t lose sleep. I understand your LOVE for Americans. However, the ‘grand design of the cosmos’ would prevail. If Destruction like the 2004 Tsunami or 9/11 or 26/11 is required for mankind to become KIND, with every soul on earth, then, so be it.

WHY this ‘KOLAVERI’, God? Why sometimes you unleash the ‘D’ side in you?

Ravi: Sorry, God, I can’t fathom Destruction of that order for whatever reason. Not just you, ‘Every soul is Godly’; my daughters go further in saying that their doggie doll, the piano too are Godly! No one has any right to kill anyone. Why the hell you unleashed Tsunami at my brethren in the coasts of Indonesia, India and Srilanka in 2004? Why are you SO cruel sometimes? You took away everyone – The one prayed to you and the one who didn’t? WHY this ‘kolaveri’ GOD, from time to time’?

GOD: My child, destruction and construction are two sides of the same coin. Do you understand? Constructive large scale construction follows these destructions. Haven’t you seen how the lives of the Tsunami affected changed for the better than ever before? Look, till whole of ‘mankind’ BECOMES ‘manKIND’, my destructions will continue. However am not to be blamed for man-made destructions of oneself or inflicting on others and the effects of continued rape of the environment. These man-made can be prevented. That’s how the grand cosmic design is! So, You guys screw up yourself and those around you MORE than I screw you folks. I screw up nicely once a while. You guys torture body, brain and soul, one way or the other!! Hah Ha! Idiot, You are conveniently blaming me!

And what’s God’s entertainment?

Ravi: Super. You are NOW talking OUR language. Tell me, HOW come, most mythological creations were majorly with wars and women? Were you watching the entertainment happening on Earth?

GOD:. Watching you folks twist and turn, toss and tumble in LIFE is a great entertainment for our God fraternity, as you people watch evil soap operas on the Telly or gossip about fellow humans or cherish watching IPL.

Is GOD THEN an evil force?

Ravi: Hello God, you are showing your ‘evil’ nature here. You are talking like a sadistic Hitler or like Saddam’s elder son?

GOD: Stupid. Hitler was my creation. Saddam Hussein was my creation as well and so are his many official and non-official progenies. Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa were also my creation. Each one had their roles to play; some played to perfection, some delighted me and some misused blatantly. The ones who misused….

Ravi: I know you are NOT a sweetie pie, God darling, “What did you do to the souls of especially Hitler, Gen Dyre”?

GOD: You have been to Sabarimala right? En-route the hill, have you not spotted a beggar with NO limbs, eyes gorged, but can speak well? HE carries Hitler’s soul in him. For the last sixty odd years he is there only. HE will spend another 80 years at the same place, begging for pardon. Need to explain where are the others?

Newly Inducted GODS

Ravi: Ayyo, you are deadly. Dunno what’s in store for me. You are scaring me, God! And where is Mahatma Gandhi’s soul NOW?

GOD: Chillax, my boy. As regards Gandhiji, he’s already part of our GOD Jr. fraternity. It’s like a ‘Hall of Nobility’ you may like to call – from time to time till they merge into the vast cosmos. The concept is like ‘Hall of fame’. And he deserves, doesn’t he? Mother Teresa has also joined the list. They are undergoing ‘induction programme’ now.

Ravi: Yes, MY LORD. we Indians have built a temple for Gandhiji in Orissa! By the way, there is a rumour mill doing rounds that the world would end by 2012! Have you planed any such thing?

GOD: Open your eyes and understand Evolution of species, mankind etc. and where ALL you folks on Mother Earth have grown from physiological, scientific and psychological perspective. See you soon. Take care.

Ravi: Thank you GOD for your time. Would love to touch base with you again… C you again soon…

Folks, hope you enjoyed this never happened ‘Interview with GOD’-Part II. No offences meant to anyone, including GOD. Understand and cherish the ‘juices’ and  the satirical humour without hurting anyone. Intend to continue this series as we are getting more questions from our friends. The interview with GOD series would have a common thread and that is…

“God is a hypothesis which can NEVER BE PROVED but CAN always be FELT. However, Godliness is present in everyone” - ‘Yours Truly’

AND there is NO right for anyone to kill anyone, be it animalistic animals or humane animals, humane humans or animalistic humans (Like me?) Hah Ha!

Signing off sending you all joules of positive energy. Please don’t forget to share that awesome energy, the constructive LIFE force with your lovely folks as well!

Cheers for a ‘Born Again’ weekend!

G&W Ravi

An Interview with GOD-Part I

My dear friends,

Certain instances or people MUST have made us realise the existence of the Giver, Operator and Destroyer (GOD) at some point in time. Thanks to writers like Robin Sharma and Balakumaran coupled with recent developments in the study of brain, made me to stop and look deep into those circumstances/events in my LIFE. Over the years I have kind of understood this phenomenon clearly. Let me share with you one such event.

I attended the 1983 batch of 10^th std PKN School, Tirumangalam reunion held on May 1^st. The saintly among the teachers who were present there, Shri. Poovaiah gently reminded me to meet Shri.Balaramamurthy, a retired English teacher, an Octogenarian who is ailing. In the evening I went to Balaram sir’s home and ……

Well, soft-spoken Balaram Sir whose English language skills were legendary, is suffering from Dementia, I guess. He has completely forgotten the past! His hands are shaking rapidly and trembling fingers bent, pointing downwards. His wife-cum-mother, warns me that he could not stand for long. Without wasting much time, I bent downwards in a typical “Abhivadhaye” style to seek his blessings. Now pause and a take a breath! Some of you may SEE GOD, some of you can understand the phenomenon called GOD, some of you may not understand and some of you may have a hearty laugh. No issues. We move ON…

Well, I was in the same “heads-bowed-eyes-on-Guru’s-feet, hands-covering-ears” pose for more than 2 min and I could FEEL Mrs.Balram getting restless. Well, lovely ladies and ‘Gentle’men, slowly Balram sir’s hand lowered and I could FEEL both his hands touch my head and bless! Well, that point in time I didn’t realise HOW the ‘fingers bent hands’ could straighten, form a circle around my head and bless! There were tears in his eyes as well! HOW? Think later. Let’s move on NOW…

Folks, I have been waiting for an interview with GOD and finally IT has agreed(Yes, God cannot be HIM or HE, else women and men would rule over other!). Now, relax, forget your dogmas and doctorates(If you have), and enjoy the satirical humour and some LIFE juices – Not from me – from GOD himself.

GOD Intoxicated heavily by humans

GOD: Good evening Ravi, sorry for keeping you waiting for 43 years!

Ravi: Hi GOD, great to FEEL you. Am glad that you have finally heeded to my request. Well, shall we walk the-talk? Before that, would you like to have a drink? Must have been a long journey for you? What’s your take?

GOD: Thanks Ravi, get me chilled buttermilk or Tender coconut though I’m used to drinking ‘Somapanam’ only.

Ravi: Somapanam??? You also require intoxication. Is it?

GOD: No, Ravi. Understand this. From time immemorial human beings have been praising us NON STOP, 24/7/365! Eulogies like “Praise the LORD”, “POTRI POTRI, different abhishekam etc..” with varying degrees have made me/us also heavily intoxicated. Somapaanam helps me/us to de-toxicate as it does not contain alcohol, it’s herbal-made, here in heaven.

HOW and Why do people fear GOD?

Ravi: Tell me, HOW and WHY do people fear for you? Why do people bribe you for their sins or to SEEK favours? Why people waste time in performing meaningless rituals? Goddy, can be please enlighten us?

GOD: Simple. Very simple. They don’t understand that GOD or GODliness is present in every creature and not only humans. The animals know it. Humans, with all their so-called advanced brain have failed to take note of. They have divided themselves into groups and sub-groups and sub-sub-groups, all in illusion!So, instead of seeking ‘inwards’, they are seeking ‘outwards’ for GOD! How funny?

Let me narrate with a live example. There is this 91 year old former cop from Kerala who spends 20 days in a month visiting Sabarimala by foot. His reasoning… He is seeking pardon from me for killing 50 persons while he was Khaki-clad, on a killing spree under the guise of protecting people. He justified his killing-spree earlier!

IS GOD made the RICHEST and most corrupt by humans?

Ravi: Tell me, I guess you must the most Richest and also corrupted soul in the world. Do you agree?

GOD: I love you, Ravi as few people dare speak the TRUTH. Take the example of Vijay Mallya. This bum’s company produces liquor which is running like a river across India! In fact it unites the divided India! Look at the disastrous effect! He is NOT bothered. He simply goes and bribes in Sabarimala or to Lord Venkateswara and gets back to business. What will those fellas do? They have to keep people like Mallya going as the bribes are humongous. Hope you understand. Anyway we have formed a committee to investigate and punish Gods and humans indulging into this kind of huge bribes. Don’t worry. Please understand. I also have limitations. Your Anna Hazare is doing an awesome job. After he drops his body this birth, I shall ask him to form GODPAL and errant Gods would THEN have to go to jail! Hah! Ha!

GODS are once humans, isn’t it?

Ravi: Let me get it right?  We thought GOD is ONE and you are quoting two more souls whom humans consider GOD.

GOD: Yes, let me clarify that. These guys Siva, Venkat, Krish, Christ, Mohammed….. Gandhi, Saibaba Sr. and Saibaba Jr, MGR….Mary Lakshmi, Kali….  are all made GODS by you ‘emotional’ humans. Of course they deserve as they were ‘Godly’, isn’t it?

Ravi: I’m glad that you included MGR in that list. Near Chennai, people have built a temple for him and they wear his once-famous ‘fur’ cap when they go to worship him! For Mahatma Gandhi, there is a temple in Orissa and people wear Khadi dress and sport ‘Gandhi’ cap while visiting that temple. And, to top it all, the ‘emotional’ people of Thamizhnadu have built a temple for the ex-actress Kushboo as she was ‘gorgeous’ personified!

GOD: You see Ravi, Hinduism is all about freedom and democracy and hence the 6 crore and counting Gods in that religion! As you said, all were once humans and all had one thread on common – ie. Godliness.

Who were I, what am I? Whose collective consciousness (ie stored in LEFT brain) am I?

GOD: Ravi kanna, do you know in whose body you were in last birth? Know that you were In a DOG’s body!

(Ravi shouts Eureka… and runs to the garden to be with his doggy friends) Take a break NOW…

GOD: What happened, Ravi?

Ravi: I love you GOD. You speak only the TRUTH. When I was young, most of my holidays used to be spent playing-mostly outdoors from flying kites to playing cricket, taking snack bites from the hands of many a Mom. Many a time, I shall be late for lunch and Dad would be furious. At the sight of me entering our home, he would BARK “Are you a street DOG?”

Ravi: God, please check my understanding. Brain scientists have recently proved that man’s most dominant thought in a 24-hours’ time span is ‘sex’. Can we NOW safely say that ‘male’ humans have inhibited the collective consciousness of a DOG’s brain by virtue of their sexual behaviour?

GOD: It’s evolution of the cosmos, Ravi. Some may have been a monkey, goat, cow, Tiger, snake… in previous births. And have imbibed the Collective Consciousness of that brain. Do you understand, boy?

Ravi: Yes. NOW it’s crystal clear. So, Ravichander Venkatraman as I’m known in this birth was a DOG in earlier birth(s) and hence my DOG-like brain. In fact, I have offered my brain for research purposes. Thank you for this understanding about me. Shall we move on?

IS GOD a BRUTAL manipulator and PERMANENT match-fixer?

Ravi: God chellam, Many people here in India think and propagate that everything happens according to your whims and fancy and that they don’t have any control over the happenings in their life. If it’s true, then are you NOT a PERMANENT match-fixer, a BRUTAL manipulator of the highest order?

GOD: Ravi Kanna, the answer is Yes and NO. Understand this deeply. Will talk about this later.

Now, give me a break – I have received an emergency call from Mohammed. This guy has become troublesome and giving me sleepless nights. In fact, he is my special son. A very very pure person. That’s his problem. He can’t tolerate impurity. He is seething with anger with America and the West. The D side of the GOD is very active in him NOW. I have to do something. I have called for a closed door meeting between Mohammed, Jesus and myself. I hope both would drive some sense onto each other first. Let us see. I’m optimistic. If they persist with their differences, then shall ask Krish to intervene. You, know how deadly he is. We call him the ‘silent assassin’ of good-over-evil.

Ravi: Thank you GOD for your time. Would love to touch base with you again… C you again soon…

Folks, hope you enjoyed this never happened interview with GOD. No offences meant to anyone, including GOD. Understand and cherish the ‘juice’. Intend to continue this series if YOU say so. All would have a common thread and that is…

“God is a hypothesis which can NEVER BE PROVED but CAN always be FELT. However, Godliness is present in everyone” - ‘Yours Truly’

AND there is no right for anyone to kill anyone, be it animalistic animals or humane animals, humane humans or animalistic humans(Like me)! Hah Ha!

Now, Ravi, once-a-doggie signing off sending you all joules of positive energy. Please don’t forget to share that awesome energy, the constructive LIFE force with your folks.

Cheers!

G&W Ravi